Recently at a seminar I was facilitating, a participant honored me by reporting that something I had said at a presentation had made a huge impact on his life. He said that this one thing was the most important lesson that he had grasped for the whole year! Needless to say, I was very curious as to what this bit of information might be! " What was it?" I wondered that had such an impact on him?
He reminded me of my statement:
“For a healthy relationship, it is important to be committed to the relationship, not to the other person.”
I remembered the presentation, and also recalled some others in the group challenging me on the statement! How many times have we been told it is important to be committed to the other person?
However, if the focus is the other person and what it best for them, then it is easy to lose yourself. Often times a person eventually gets upset, feels left out, and the blame game begins! It might end up in a lopsided situation where one person is actually put on a pedestal. Realistically, in friendships and partnerships, if participants are authentic and honest, there will be snags along the way. This is what life and growth is all about! When you are committed to the relationship, it brings opportunities to come together to share and discuss differences, to understand the other person, and to actually stay in the relationship, accepting each other where you are, and building intimacy. How delightful it can be to actually appreciate and enjoy the diversity of one another and to celebrate your connection!
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